Snake Charmer
by GolDAce
Summary: Severus finds a new way into the Chamber of Secrets, where he unwittingly revives Salazar Slytherin and Godric Gryffindor. Warning: Slash, Threesome, Salazar/Godric/Severus. Don't Like Don't Read.
1. Chapter 1

**Snake Charmer**, chapter 1

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**Disclaimer:** I don't own Harry Potter or any of the characters, which is probably a good thing seeing what I do to them... Anyway, the point I'm making is don't sue.

**Author's Note:** Alright, I'm incredibly nervous. I haven't really ever posted anything like this up, and I for some unknowable reason, decided to do so without a Beta. T_T Yeah, I know, but I don't think there are too many mistakes. This has a total of tweleve chapters, as far as I can plan ahead, and I think there's a bit of smut in every chapter except the first and last (and even then I'd still rate it M). This story contains a LOT of slash male/male/male threeway sex, so be warned. Basically I decided to get as much slash out of me as possible so when I write anymore slash I won't be so nervous. Hopefully I do it right.

**Summary:** Severus finds a new way into the Chamber of Secrets, where he unwittingly revives Salazar Slytherin and Godric Gryffindor. Now he's stuck watching over the two powerful wizards as they get used to life in the present. AU sorta, Set post-books, but ignoring HBP & DH. Warning: Slash, Threesome, Salazar/Godric/Severus, mentions non-con & rape.

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**Chapter One; The Revival**

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Severus Snape walked briskly through the halls, robes billowing impressively. If anyone had been around to see him they would probably think that he had someplace very important to be and would have scurried to get out of his path... as it was though, Severus wasn't going anywhere important at all, and there was no one in the halls to scurry away from him. It was the middle of the summer holidays for the students of Hogwarts, meaning that they had all long since hitched the train home to their families. Severus himself would usually have been back on Spinner's End, attempting to keep his sainity there for three months until he could return. This year was different, however, in that the Dark Lord was now dead for good and he was no longer a spy. That gave him no reason to leave the santity of Hogwarts.

Of course, that also didn't give him a reason to _stay_. Professors, of course, didn't _need_ a reason to stay over the holidays (just look at Sybil who literally _lives_ up there in her tower), but when asked Severus felt that he had to give some sort of credible explaination. So far it had been his work, and how it was much easier doing it here than at his own home. This was the perfect excuse... for the first two and a half weeks. The only problem was, it was true, and work that he could stretch out for 3 months while on Spinner's End was completed and double checked by the end of the third week. That left him with two months' time to kill, while avoiding Albus (who tended to pop in at the most inconvienient times, wards be damned) and trying to look like he actually had something to do.

And so, that was how Severus found himself striding through the dungeon corridors, looking flustered in a way that he would never let anyone actually witness. The dungeons were vast, far larger than the rest of the school, and far deeper down than anyone would have guessed. He had a feeling that he knew more about the winding halls underneath the school than anyone else alive, but he also knew that there was much more to them than what the Potions Master had discovered on his own. He had never possessed the time or the curiousity to explore them properly, after all, and most of what he knew was due to to his tendency to hide down here in his youth, whenever he felt threatened.

He stopped when he reached the blank and slightly damp wall that lead to the Slytherin common room. Severus found that when he wasn't paying attention he would wind up here automatically, and he had a feeling that most of the dungeon corridors did that on purpous, whether or not they geographically should lead here or not. It was very useful, since whenever one was lost or in a daze they would automatically end up where it was safe - well, at least Slytherins did. He couldn't count how many times he'd found stray Hufflepuffs lost and terrified in a remote corner of the dungeons.

Severus looked at the wall for a few moments, deciding whether or not he should go inside, when a small movement caught his eye. He turned quickly, pulling out his wand in one smooth motion, only to see a detailed snake-engraving slithering lazily along the wall. All he could do was stare at it for a while, he could tell by the intricaties that it wasn't a show of student-vandalism, but at the same time he'd never seen the engraving before. The snake wasn't small either, it was about 8 feet long, rounding down, and it's head was larger than his fist. It gazed at him from the wall, it's eyes a sharp silver, and then it slithered off quickly rounding the stone corners like nothing. If it could navigate the entire dungeons like that, it was no wonder he hadn't seen it, Severus thought, before lighting his wand and following after the large serpent.

He spent the next few minutes walking after the snake, which he would just barely spot before it slithered off again. Severus at first thought the snake might be leading him somewhere, but more and more he was beginning to think it was just a wild-goose chase. After losing sight of it for a while, Severus finally had enough and prepared to turn back (and test his theory about the corridors leading to the Slytherin common room when you were lost) when he suddenly spotted the snake again and wondered how on Earth he could have missed it. Heaped in large coil, dead center on dark stone wall, lay the snake. Had it been a real snake it would have bit him, Severus thought a bit lamely. The snake had it's head raised up about three feet above it's coils, making it nearly eye-level with him from its postition in the wall. It was staring at him intently with large, silver eyes, and Severus had the oddest feeling that the engraving was sizing him up.

The sound of puntuated hissing reached his ears and Severus realized that the serpent was speaking in Parseltongue. It was a language Severus couldn't know, but could recognize easily. He'd heard the Dark Lord and Potter speak it enough to know. Still the hissed sylablles made him shiver and he took an involuntary step back. It took him a while to realize that the snake was evidentally waiting for a response. Severus was about to leave, since there was nothing he could say to the engraving that it would understand and vice versa, however, something made him stay. He had the urge to reach out to the snake, and run his fingers over the rocky coils. He tried shaking that thought away, but it persisted until finally Severus decided to touch his wand to the engraving. This seemed to be the wrong thing to do as the serpent hissed angrily at him and showed its impressively large fangs. He forgot for a moment that an engraving, like a portrait, couldn't actually hurt him, and stepped back.

The serpent seemed to regard him again, pointedly looking at his wand. He took the hint and put his wand away, and the snake went back to looking at him. He got the urge to touch the serpent once again, and this time, for lack of any other options, he decided to try. His fingers traced the inside of the snake engraving which was cool to the touch, and wound there way around the stone coils. The snake shivered, the stone wall shuddering under Severus' fingertips, and suddenly he realized that the entire area was shimmering. He quickly removed his hand, but it was too late and the serpent's silver eyes were glowing and the dungeon floor was sucking him in.

When he opened his eyes, which he didn't even remember closing, he was laying in his back somewhere he'd never been before. He couldn't even say if this was Hogwarts, though he was fairly certain that nothing could have spirited him passed the wards. He sat up slowly and looked around. There was no indication of any sort of passage that could have lead him here from the dungeons, and there was no sign of the snake. Cursing silently to himself as he stood, he tried to figure out where he could be. The room was large, with stone walls and green lighting that reminded him of the Slytherin common room. Similarities stopped there, unfortunately, as the room was also covered in ancient runes and symbols he didn't know the meaning of. One motif he found was protection, the various symbols for it he remembered from his studies were engraved and painted all around this chamber, and, faded as they were, he could still make them out.

Glowing, light green crystals lay embedded in the stone floor, circling what looked to be a large, circular box, made of marble, with a heavy circular lid covering it. It was about knee-high and had the most runes engraved on it, each one barely taking up a square centimeter on its own, but all together they covered every inch of the marble's surface. Seeing nothing else in the room, Severus cautiously approched the structure, pulling his wand out as he did so. He paused at the crystals, but they didn't seem to be there to ward off intruders. He picked one up, examining it with his wand, but as soon as one crystal left the circle, they all flickered and the light within them went out. He started a bit at that, and quickly made to replace the crystal, when there was suddenly an odd noise. It sounded like a sigh, but following it was a wave of magic so powerful that it sent jolts throughout his body.

Turning to see where that wave of energy had come from, Severus' eyes widened as he saw the space between the bottom and the top portions of the white marble box begin to emit a bright golden glow. Stepping back away from the structure, he had just managed to get a few steps out of the former crystal barrier when the lid was suddenly and uncerimoniously thrown off. The heavy marble hit the ground with such force that Severus could feel the stone floor tremble. Tendrils of sweet-smelling silver smoke flooded out of the opening to the box.

The smoke got into his lungs, stinging slightly and he coughed until eventually the smoke settled on the floor like fog. Once he was sure enough oxygen was getting to his lungs, Severus looked back to where the smoke originated from, only to realize he currently had a wand trained on him. Reacting insinctively, Severus lifted his own wand to try to disarm his opponent, but found his wand pulled from his own tight grasp before he even managed to aim it. He cursed in his mind and backed up, it had been years since someone had disarmed him, expecially with a nonverbal spell. Finally, with options down to none, Severus actually looked to see who his opponent was.

Standing with one foot in the box and one foot on the edge stood a man that looked like he came out of a dream. He was soaked from head to toe, the liquid darkening his long, wavy hair, which was such a deep blood red that it could make the Weasley family look blonde by comparison. The man's skin was a sun-kissed tan and his body was sculpted like a Greek god's, something Severus could judge very clearly seeing as the soaking wet man was also completely naked. A light voice broke him out of his daze, once he realized that the red-haired man was talking to him, and his eyes shot up quickly, embarrassed not only by the fact that he'd been so distracted that he missed the man's words, but also because of were his eyes had ended up.

Concentrating on the man's wand and the warm-honey coloured eyes that were currenly boring into him with red-hot fury, and stook a step back while showing his hand, hoping to calm the man down and find out who he was. The red-head stepped completely out of the box, which from the sloshing sound was filled with whatever liquid was currently dripping down the man, his wand was still pointed directly at Severus. Golden eyes looking at him strangely, the man spoke again, his words slurred slightly with an ancient Scottish accent. "I asked who you are." The man said very slowly and deliberately, before cocking his head to the side suddenly. To Severus it looked like he was considering something, and the next moment he found out what it was. "Don' you speak English?"

Severus was just about to answer when there was another sloshing sound from the 'pool' and another man slowly sat up, grasping at the marble edges to brace himself. "It could be possible that he merely doesn't speak your English, you Celt." A slightly lighter, but much more sophisticated voice sounded from the man in the pool, making the red-head turn back to frown slightly. Severus couldn't see the man too clearly, since he was still within the marble, but from what he could see, this man was smaller and paler than the first one, with straight, maple-colored hair that fell to the bottom of his neck and obscured his face.

"Ah spoke reit Anglish 'en, didne ah?" The red-head snapped back, his speech deteriorating quickly, proving that he had indeed tried to pronounce himself better. "'S nae mah fault eff he cannae undarstan', noo is it?"

"I am sorry, but I do not speak Celtic." The other man said mockingly, earning a small growl from the red-head. Severus considered finding away to escape while they were bickering, but remembered not finding any escape routes when looking around, and before he had the chance to look again the bright green eyes of the second man snapped to him. They were a very special kind of green, that was nearly blue and nearly brown at the same time. Like the color of the bottom of the lake when looking up to the sun. Those eyes regarded him silently, until the red-head quickly moved into Severus' line of sight. Looking up, those honey-eyes were looking at him with rage and Severus could hear a deep growling sound coming from him. "Las' time... do -" The red-haired man seemed to be steadying himself to deliver his question in understandable English, but Severus already knew the question, and knew better than to have the man with his wand ask him again.

"Yes, I speak English." Severus said clearly, breaking off the red-head's words, "My name is Severus Snape, and I am a professor here, at Hogwarts. Now who are you?"

This seemed to surprised the red-haired man who lowered his wand slightly. Golden eyes looked more questioning than angry. The green-eyed man looked out from around tanned legs, but the red-head gently pushed him back behind him. The brown-haired man just gave an exasparated sigh and sunk back into the clear liquid where, Severus was sure, he was just as naked as the other.

"Before yer question," The red-head said slowly, "Tell me: whot age is thes?"

"What?" He asked, not knowing what the other meant - apparently by the chuckle coming from the man in the pool and the gruff re-attempt to speak clearly from the read head, he was misunderstood. They thought he could't understand him because of his accent.

"No, you misunderstand. Are you asking for the year?" Severus asked slowly and, once getting confirmation from the red-head, replied, "It's the year 1999."

A look of shock sprung up on the man's face and he turned very quickly to the man in the pool, speaking in rushed Gaelic. The man was apparently lying before about not knowing Celtic, since he was able to speak it very calmly and without much hesitation. Finally after the red haired man had calmed down, and lowered his wand, the paler man in the pool began to speak in his refined English yet again. "Now calm yourself. It is not unusual for the spell to last this long, considering its source." The man said calmly, "You were not supposed to be in here."

"Whot? Thought ay woold nae be able te find yah?" The red-head grinned cheekily, before saying very slowly and seriously, "Ay woold never le' you lye 'ere all alone like tha'."

Severus usually didn't mind being ignored when he had no idea of the situation, but there was a strange suspicion in the back of his mind and he wanted his question answered. Before he could say anything, however, the dark-haired man in the pool began speaking Parseltongue, causing a stone wall (which he could see now was made up of tiny stone serpents) to slither away, revealing an even larger part of the chamber. If the Parseltongue make his little suspicion twinge, what he saw there made it jump. Laid out along the stone ground was the remaints of a slain basilisk. Severus realized immediately where he must be and couldn't believe he hadn't realized; the Chamber of Secrets.

Before he could fully get his head around that, he noticed that the two men were arguing again. The red-head feverently denying something, while this time the green-eyed man looked furious. The green-eyed man attempted to get up and go to the snake's corpse, but the larger man stopped him easily.

Serious honey-coloured eyes turned to him again. "Did ye kill 'at snake?"

"No." He replied quickly, and was very glad when he was believed. The red-head whispered something to the brown-haired man in his grasp that seemed to calm him, and then gently set him down on the edge of the marble pool. Making sure his compainion was alright, the red-head turned his gaze back to Severus. "Severus Snape." He said strongly, making Severus jump a bit, "Professor Severus Snape," the red-head amended himself after a beat, "My name is Sir Godric Artair Labhrainn Gryffindor, and thes is Lord Salazar Liveo Malvitus Slytherin. One thousand, one hundred and thirty-six years ago we built thes school. We have need to speak with thes school's current master."

For a moment all Severus could think about was that the red-head had managed to say most of that entire speech in clear English. The full meaning of what he was saying hit him just a second later. _Oh Merlin._

_**To Be Continued...**_

**A/N: **Alright so what do you think? Particularly about my Godric and Salazar, since there characters are a bit differently played. I would really love to get some feedback. Also, there will be more obvious slash in the next chapters.


	2. Chapter 2

**Snake Charmer, **chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Harry Potter or any of the characters, which is probably a good thing seeing what I do to them... Anyway, the point I'm making is don't sue.

**Summary: **Severus finds a new way into the Chamber of Secrets, where he unwittingly revives Salazar Slytherin and Godric Gryffindor. Now he's stuck watching over the two powerful wizards as they get used to life in the present. AU sorta, Set post-books, but ignoring HBP & DH. Warning: Slash, Threesome, Salazar/Godric/Severus, mentions non-con & rape.

_Hypatia_s:_ I've cut back on his accent a bit in this chapter. So hopefully it's easier to understand? He practices speaking English enough that he can usually sound next to normal, but tends to lose it when he's not paying attention to it.

_EmruasCat:_ Yes, there are hardly any stories with Severus and any of the founders. Especially Severus/Godric. I'm glad you like the idea, and I hope this chapter won't disappoint! J

_shade watcher:_ Thanks for the review! Sorry this update took so long!

_Meganq:_ Thanks for the review~ New chapter is here~!

**Author's Note: **Sorry about the long wait, especially after getting such great reviews. I love you guys! Hopefully this makes up for it? It's over 5000 words, which is almost twice what I'm usually good for in one chapter. It's a bit difficult for me to write slash to my own satisfaction, I've found, so this is the best I can do for now. Hopefully, my nerve will increase the farther I get into the story, without losing the actual storyline.

So, sorry if Severus seems to be just sitting back through all of this. Right now it's all a bit of the unknown, and I don't think Severus has ever been the type to just jump into it. He should get more comfortable around the founder's eventually. Mostly, this chapter focuses on Salazar, since I love developing his character. Anyway, better stop talking and get on with the chapter, enjoy!

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This truly had to be the _strangest_, most awkward reason he'd ever been to the Headmaster's office, and he'd been here for all sorts. He'd been here after every Death Eater meeting he'd attended as a spy, in all sorts of disarray due to curses being cast on him, for various student-related reasons, not the strangest of which was the Potter boy and Weasley crashing a flying muggle car into the Whomping Willow, and once even just so the Headmaster could offer him, _alphabetically_, every sweet known to man just to see which one he preferred. But _now_, introducing two of Hogwarts' founders, the same founders who had built this school over one thousand years ago - founders who where supposed to be long _dead_ - to the Headmaster in the middle of his afternoon tea... that one certainly took the cake.

It didn't help very much that the Headmaster had taken it so bloody well. He had been shocked for all of 30 seconds, then that infernal twinkling started up in those whimsical blue eyes of his, and he offered them both the traditional Sherbet Lemon. Severus understood that there was no use in the Headmaster being at a loss of what to do (after all, the day Dumbledore didn't have a plot or two up his bright purple sleeves, was the day they were all doomed), but perhaps if he was just a_ little_ panicked, or maybe just not so damn _calm_, Severus wouldn't feel like he was the only one losing his mind. At the moment he was sitting, very rigidly, in one of the chairs Albus had conjured for them. The red-haired man... _Godric Gryffindor_, was chatting animatedly with the Headmaster, in Gaelic, another one of Albus' many spoken languages. The large man had taken sole possession of the Sherbet Lemon dish, and didn't seem like he was going to be relinquishing it any time soon. Severus had considered mentioning his suspicion that the little hard candies had some form of Calming Draught mixed in with them, since an overdose could be quite incapacitating, but thought better of it. In theory, the Headmaster would stop him before he ate his way into a magical coma.

After watching the two mages chatter on for a few more seconds, his eyes turned to rest on the other occupant of the room. That was Salazar Slytherin. He still couldn't really come to terms with that, even though the words kept playing over and over again in his mind. _Salazar Slytherin_. He was able to get a better look at him now, as back in the Chamber he'd been mostly obscured by Godric, who seemed dead set on acting as a physical barrier between them. He had only been able to catch small glimpses of the Slytherin founder behind the red-heads strong build, until they'd conjured robes for themselves and Salazar stepped out to say the spell that would get them back out into the Dungeons. Severus realized the man hadn't said more than a sentence worth since he'd seen him. Even now, the brown-haired man seemed utterly unconcerned with whatever conversations where happening between the two Gyffindors, and looked to be very lazily taking in the contents of the room. Severus watched with awed fascination as the green eyes moved along the various shelves, giving an equal amount of attention to every single odd whizzing, bobbing, spinning little knickknack that the Headmaster has stockpiled.

He knew he should say something, Merlin, he knew. But something had frozen somewhere in his chest and he felt rooted in place. What was he supposed to say? Back in his muggle primary school, there had been an assignment in his history lesson. _'If you could talk with any historical figure, who would it be and why?'_ For Severus, it had always been Salazar Slytherin. In all the stories his mother had told about her days at Hogwarts and all of the myths and customs surrounding it, it was the story of the Slytherin patriarch that had him enraptured. Of course, that particular lesson in primary school did not go over well, no matter how adamantly he insisted Salazar Slytherin _was_, in fact, a historical figure.

But now, here he was, he'd met (or, well, _seen_) the Slytherin founder, he was sitting not more than three meters away - and he didn't have anything worthwhile to ask. Well, he_ did _have things to ask, but none, he found, that he could say to the brown-haired man's face. Instead, he had to settle for staring at the other man, like an idiot, and memorizing his every movement as his small pale hands danced over the silvery instruments, not touching them by less than half a centimeter. At least, he soon found, he was not the only one who was having trouble keeping his eyes off the man.

Phineas Nigellus, arguably the best fake-sleeper in the circle of former Headmaster/Headmistress portraits that hung around the circular room, was certainly off his game this afternoon. Instead of pretending to be asleep, like the rest of the paintings were trying, and failing, to do - the sole Slytherin Head was openly staring at the maple-haired founder, flinching back behind his frame every time Salazar shifted in his chair. This went on for a few minutes, until, finally, the green-eyed man turned completely around to look at the portrait. Once again, Phineas disappeared behind his frame, but Salazar didn't seem at all bothered by this as he stood up silently and made his way over to the painting.

Severus watched curiously as the smaller man lined himself up with the frame, and waited. It didn't take long for the Black family ancestor to peer back out again, and get caught staring into bright green eyes.

"Good afternoon."

The crisp, refined English the founder spoke was still something that surprised Severus. It was almost musical, the way his voice sounded, playing smoothly over every syllable. For Headmaster Black, however, those words seemed to act as a paralytic, as the portrait was now as still as a muggle photograph. Salazar waited, green-eyes watching the canvas with amusement until Phineas finally realized that he was meant to respond. "Ah, g-good afternoon. I -" The usually dark and sarcastic man stumbled over his words and continuously shifted around his frame awkwardly. It was a rare sight, perhaps one never seen before at all, the proud Black ancestor being reduced to stuttering and looking down. Many of the other Heads, having abandoned fake sleep now, where attempting to lean out of their canvases to see. Eventually, Phineas managed to find something to say, straightening up a bit as he introduced himself, "My name is Phineas Nigellus Black, of the Noble House of Black. It's a pleasure to meet you." He said, actually able to maintain his usual proud cadence.

"Yes, I can see." Salazar replied easily, looking pointedly at the golden name plate below his portrait, which made the painted man falter again. Before he could think of any way to respond to that, Salazar Slytherin continued. "But, I am sure the pleasure is all mine. It is… difficult to convince my students to return to Hogwarts as teachers. I was worried."

The portrait looked both incredibly nervous and yet excited. "You can tell I was in Slytherin?"

The founder looked up at him with a bemused expression, replying flatly. "You are wearing my colors." Instantly, the portrait looked down at himself, as if he'd just remembered that he had been painted in his green and silver dress robes. He turned an odd shade of red, and once again seemed to lack a proper response. _Once again_, Salazar saved him the trouble, continuing on with a secretive smile, "And, _yes_, I can tell."

Green-eyes slowly left Phineas' portrait, relieving the Black ancestor of their playful scrutiny, and lazily made there way around all of the other portraits in the room. "I had someone, of course, able to look over my house after I left, but I did not know if that would continue to be carried on. Teaching is a very tedious profession, and, generally, my students are not the 'giving'-type by nature."

"Oh, no! No, I _loved_ teaching!" The words were blurted out quickly, and a bit defensively. Armando Dippet in the portrait across from them began to chuckle quietly, holding his hand over his mouth as if trying to disguise his mirth as some sort of odd coughing fit. Dexter Fortescue, much closer to Phineas' picture, was not attempting to hide his laughter at all. The Black ancestor looked murderous, and was glaring straight though a highly uncomfortable Basil Fronsac at the laughing former Head. Fortescue seemed largely unconcerned. Phineas continued speaking pointedly to the other painting, and regaining much of his former scathe, "_That is to say_, I would rather it be me than no one."

Despite the response not having been directed at him, Salazar smiled charmingly. "Precisely. You have my thanks." The portrait had the grace to look a bit sheepish, but luckily for him Salazar Slytherin quickly changed the subject - so quickly, in fact it was a bit jarring. "On that note, perhaps you can tell me a little more about Severus?"

The Potions master jerked violently when he heard his name. He'd been watching the interaction like one would watch a film, and the sudden insertion made him snap back into reality. It felt a bit like having been dunked suddenly underwater, then pulled out again. But, at least this time he wasn't the only one startled, Phineas looked about as confused as he felt, and he caught the portrait's eye briefly with equally baffled expressions.

Salazar pretended not to noticed the interaction and continued to speak. "He's been staring at me for just over twenty minutes, and I've made it a sort of habit of mine to ask after anyone who reaches that amount."

Severus had a feeling he should reply to that statement, but soon found that when it came to actually_ speaking_ to the Slytherin Head, he had developed the same problem Phineas was suffering from. He had absolutely no idea what he was supposed to say, and all he could do was quickly pry his eyes off of the first Slytherin and hope that some other form of distraction would turn up. This time, it was Godric who came to the rescue.

"_Oi._" The red-head said, leaning back a bit in his chair to look at the other founder. "Ya do know tormentin' yer students is na a verry good way uv makin' a firs' impression, reit?"

Golden eyes looked knowingly into bright green ones. Salazar gave a small smirk and shrugged. "But they make such cute faces when they're flustered."

Severus took the chance of looking back up, and found himself looking straight into the eyes he was most trying to avoid. The founder's playful smirk widened, and Severus straightened up almost instinctively. Needing something to say, he went for the first thing he could think of that wouldn't sound entirely idiotic. "I was not staring." _Wonderful_, he sounded like a cornered first year. He at least hoped that he'd said it with enough dignity that it wasn't noticed.

His denial was received with a calm tilt of the head and an unconcerned, "Oh, weren't you? Alright." Which, for some reason, Severus felt was even more embarrassing than if the Slytherin founder has called him out on his lie. The maple-headed man returned to his seat gracefully, lounging back in the large summoned chair. For a brief moment, Severus, and from the looks of it Phineas, had no idea what to make of the sudden change in attitude. "So what your saying is, you _don't_ want me to ask after you."

Severus felt his throat go dry, and he nearly choked on thin air - that was _not_ what he meant. Luckily, Godric spoke up before he even had the chance to think of how to respond to that statement, with Albus watching the interaction with that merry twinkle in his eye from across his desk. "Don' you worry, he likes both of ye. Sal'd have jus' ignored ya if he din't."

Those words, as light-hearted as they were, didn't seem to sit well with the brunette, and Salazar replied in a less-than jovial tone, "Your English is still terrible Godric. Have you finished?"

"Ah, righ' righ'." The Gryffindor founder replied lightly, completely unfazed by the other's tone. "Our Lord Slytherin has lost intres' in our meetin', ay think. Ay'd better take 'im were he wants to be. Ef there's nat anything else ta discuss?"

Severus looked over to where Albus sat watching the display with that infernal twinkle shining like mad. Sky blue eyes glanced at him for a brief second, and Severus felt that sinking feeling in his gut that he usually got right before the Headmaster asked him to do something he really, _really_ didn't want to do. He wondered if it was too late to just excuse himself from all of this madness.

"Actually, Godric," The Headmaster began, and once again Severus marveled at how well Dumbledore was taking all of this. He said "Godric" like he might have said "Filius" or "Minerva" even. Like he made it a bloody_ habit _of his to converse with ancient, powerful wizards who were barely more than legends in history. "I am a bit worried about your assimilation into this new millennium. I do believe the world has changed a great deal since your time. I am sure that even Hogwarts has grown since the time she was under your care."

Godric seemed to be considering this new information, while Salazar once again turned his attention back to the whizzing knick-knacks on the Headmster's desk. Severus, meanwhile, was already following through with this direction of conversation, and was already busy trying to think of some excuse to avoid what he knew was coming - as futile as he knew it would be. After a short pause, Albus continued, "I thought, perhaps, it may be useful if you were to have a sort of guide. You've already met Severus."

That was exactly what Severus both expected and hoped not to hear. He was having trouble with the concept of their very_ existence_, now he was supposed to be their personal tour guide? Having had no time to think of proper reason why he couldn't do this, he decided to go with the one he'd been using all summer to avoid Spinner's End. "Headmaster, I still have plenty of work to do before term starts, and - "

"Oh, Severus, I'm sure they won't get in the way of your brewing." The purple-clad mage chimed cheerfully, cutting off the excuse before it even got started. "Besides, Poppy just informed me today that you have filled her stores to surplus, and I'm sure with your skill it won't take long to complete the rest of your endeavors. You shouldn't pass up this opportunity, Severus."

"Aye, we won' be any trooble , hones'. Ay can take care o' him fer ya too." The red-head exclaimed, jerking his head over to where Salazar was eying a small teetering silver object that seemed to have no purpose other than to move back and forth. Severus stared at the Slytherin founder for a moment, then looked back into Godric's excited, expressive gold-colored eyes. In the end, he had absolutely no chance of getting out of this one. "Yes, Headmaster." Severus sighed, as he resigned himself to having to deal with the two powerful medieval mages until they'd gotten the hang of the twentieth century.

No sooner than he said this, Salazar Slytherin stood up yet again. "If that's all?"

Godric stood as well and nodded. "'Scuse us." He said giving a short bow to the Headmaster, "We'll take our leave fer now."

Severus stood as well, though he was a bit unsure of what to do except follow the other two men. After Salazar bid a short farewell to Phineas' still blushing portrait and pried the Sherbet Lemons out of Godric's large hands (he'd tried to take the entire dish with him), Severus once again found himself alone with the two men said to be the most powerful wizards in history. He thought, a bit dully, that it happened to him more than should be normal.

"You really are the most insolent person I've ever met." Salazar's comment to Godric snapped him out of his thoughts. It shocked him quite a bit, and he wondered if there had been something he missed.

"An' you are the only person I know who can get so incre'bly angry over nothing'." Godric replied, turning to face the smaller man. "Hon'stly, my lord, I aven't done _anythin' _to upset you by."

The Slytherin didn't reply to that, obviously still cross over whatever slight Godric had managed in their meeting in the Headmaster's office. The red-head sighed and countered this by reaching over and lifting the smaller man off of the ground, angling him so he was sitting on the knight's strong, muscled arms while leaning back onto the Gryffindor's broad shoulders. "Reit. Were you wan'ta go, then?"

They ended up going around the entire school, even to little alcoves and rooms he hadn't even known existed. There was a door everyone just assumed was a fake door, for all the attempts made to get it open, that opened from the side opposite the doorknob; and one wall that opened up if you pulled up on a knothole from the bottom up. Those, and about a dozen other nooks and crannies later, Severus had learned more about the school than he could have ever hoped to know, let alone explain to the two men who helped build this very castle, which made his job as "guide" seem that much more ludicrous.

But, more than just a better idea of the layout of the castle, Severus learned a bit more about the founder's themselves. For one, they seemed to bicker like children the entire tour, finding some sort of disagreement in the smallest of details. How high the ceiling was, how the time of stone in one corridor didn't match another, down to the color of the doorknobs. It seemed like no matter what one of them thought, the other was bound to think the opposite. The largest, and most revealing of these disagreements came when the small group decided to stop by the kitchens for a late lunch/early dinner. Godric had been the most excited about this, loudly proclaiming that he hadn't eaten in over a thousand years and was rightfully starving. This went on until about five feet before the fruit basket painting - at which time Godric stopped dead in his tracks.

"Ah, ya know what? Don't you think it'd be bettar to eat in the Gre' Hall? 'S been a while since we've eat'n there, yeah?" Godric said very quickly, moving to turn back around.

"Don't be an idiot. We are already here." Salazar began as Godric tried to flee the hallway. Abruptly, the Slytherin jerked out of the red-head's grip, "_What is it?_"

Godric allowed the slighter man to wriggle his way out of his grasp, and tried to put on what he hoped to be an innocent and surprised expression. "Wha-?" The red head was cut off before his excuse even began.

"_What_ did you _do_ that you are attempting to _hide_ from me?" Green eyes stared into bright gold, and then widened slightly, obviously seeing something they didn't like within their golden depths. Salazar promptly turned on his heel and headed toward the still-life.

"Nothi - wait! Oi, wait!" Godric ran after the other so quickly that Severus had to move out of the way to avoid being bowled over. It was too late, however, and the Slytherin head ran his long pale fingers over the pear and had grasped the doorknob that appeared in the place of the jiggling fruit.

The red-head stopped short, and seemed to wince as the Slytherin entered the kitchens. There was a long pause, and then, "Godric, why are there House Elves in my school?"

Severus looked over at Godric curiously, this was an unexpected development. The red-head caught his eye and just sighed, before following after the other founder. Severus hesitated a moment, then followed as well.

"Is _nat_ just yer school," Godric was saying when Severus entered into the kitchens. As always, the entire Great Hall sized room was full with bustling House Elves, practically beside themselves for having visitors. They were bouncing about happily around the two mages, offering all sorts of food and refreshments, though for the most part they went unheard. Godric was looking at the brunette with a mix of stubbornness and concern. "An' it was Helga tha' rescued them, so they're here."

Salazar was glaring at the other man, looking close to actually exploding. Eventually, it was a more zealous House Elf that triggered it when he tugged on the Slytherin's robes to get his attention. Sharp eyes, now a flat, pale green shot down to the elf's murky brown bulbs. "Get. _Away_."

The Elves reacted immediately, jumping away so quickly, most of them fell over each other and banged into the various cabinets lining the room. They looked frightened out of their minds, and probably had every reason to be. Severus wasn't sure how he would react if the founder of Slytherin house directed his anger at him. If the Dark Lord claimed to be his _descendant_, he couldn't imagine how powerful the _original_ had to be. Which was another problem he hadn't thought of…

"Sala-!" Godric roared furiously, but Salazar was quicker, and cut the complaint off at the tip.

"Do you _really_ not understand why I have a problem with this? Do you_ really _not understand the simple concept that after working so hard erecting wards over this entire castle, we should _not_, then, allow creatures_ immune_ to our wards within them? Does that_ truly_ - "

As the brown-haired man began his ran, Godric seemed to put some real effort into calming himself down. He took a deep breath, and then moved over to where the other man was pacing.

"Salazar." Godric said softly, moving around so he was cornering the other man against a cabinet.

"_No._ I -" Whatever further arguments Salazar Slytherin had were cut off instantly as the red-headed founder suddenly pushed his lips against the other man's mouth. Severus watched in disbelief for a few moments, as Godric Gryffindor plundered Salazar Slytherin's mouth with his tongue. For a while he really couldn't even accept what he was seeing. This was... new. There had never been any mention that the two male founders of Hogwarts were anything other than good friends - and even their friendship was said to have dissolved. Looking at the two now, they obviously had more than a friendly relationship. After what must have been over a minute (all of which time, Severus has spent gawking at the two snogging men, to which he would never admit), they finally broke away from each other. Salazar blinked a few times, as if in a daze, and then seemed to come back to his senses all at once. "Ah, you_ idiot_! Your lips are covered in - !" Godric pushed his lips against his again, obviously thinking he hadn't done it properly the first time around, but the Slytherin founder quickly pushed him off. "…Calming Draught."

Godric blinked and licked his lips. "Really? From where?"

"Idiot… Not everyone has an immunity like yours. How many of those yellow things did you _eat_?" The brunette snapped, his words coming out much slower than before. He drooped a bit, and Godric once again lifted him into his arms so he was being held like a new bride.

"Ah, reit. Well, is fine, I needed ta calm ye down anyway." The Gryffindor said jovially, while Salazar let his head droop down to rest in the crook of the larger man's neck. "Listen to me, Salazar, it's alrigh'."

Severus couldn't hear the reply, but Godric just held him closer and whispered with a bit more conviction. "No, no, it's alrigh'. Yah, know I would never let anythin' happen to you, righ'?" This time, Severus _could_ make out the response, though there was no way he could understand it. In fact, there was no way anyone in this room could understand it, as it was the hissing, snake-speak of Parseltongue.

"You're hissin', Salazar." Godric said softly, but was only greeted with more half-heard Parseltongue. "My lord, you're na sayin' any words. You're _hissin'_, luv."

Still, Salazar refused to switch over to English, and so, the red-head decided to switch tactics. He turned slightly to look at the House Elves who were all staring at the two with a sort of terrified rapt attention. He considered them all for a few seconds, and then his face split into a reassuring grin. Seeing it, Severus suddenly had the feeling that a grin was the only expression that truly belonged on the red-head's face.

"Listen, yeah?" He said to the elves, speaking seriously enough to get there attention, bit lightly enough not to spook them. "Our lord 'ere's been hurt real bad before, alrigh'? So 'ee migh' be a tad nervous…"

The Elves seemed to understand that very easily, which was not surprising, but Severus couldn't help but wonder what had ever "hurt" Salazar Slytherin. Unfortunately, it didn't seem as though Godric was going to elaborate.

"So, I've got ta ask ye all: are ye loyal to the school?" The outry of the entire staff of elves was deafening, as they all promised their loyalty - a few of them offered to write and oath in blood. Godric had a hard time settling them all back down. "Reit, reit - an: ye'd never try at hurt any'un here, yeah?" Once again the volume in the kitchen skyrocketed, as all of the elves tried to out squeak each other on how much they loved the school, students, and staff. Godric's grin widened greatly, and he shifted Salazar a bit in his arms. "See there? Is alrigh', see? Ye don' gotta be all defensive."

The Slytherin founder still looked uneasy, and for some reason that bothered Severus quite a bit. He had no idea that Salazar Slytherin was against House Elves, and judging by how many Purebloods kept theirs, neither did the rest of the world. The only thing he's ever heard Salazar Slytherin being _against_ were Muggles and Muggleborn wizards and witches. Of course, not a lot was recorded back in the time of the founders, so maybe it was just lost history.

When it didn't look like Godric was getting any further with the other wizard, Severus decided to speak. He'd tried to avoid speaking during their little outing, mostly because he didn't know what to say, and he wasn't about to risk insulting one or both of the powerful wizards - but, he was having a hard time watching his House founder look so uncertain. It didn't seem right. "I've been here over twenty years, not including my time as a student, we've never had a problem with the Elves before. Neither have I heard of any such thing in the past."

Green-eyes, back to their usual lake-bottom hue, looked over at him with a blank expression, and immediately Severus felt like he made a mistake not agreeing with his founder. At the same time Godric flashed him a grateful look, before peering down at his companion. "There, see?"

Salazar ran his finders through his hair with one hand and sighed, then he waved his hand and nodded slightly to show that he conceded the point. Godric gave a small appreciative chuckle, before gesturing to a few Elves to bring him something. In less than no time, the Elves presented them with more food than they could handle. The red-head had to push a pastry passed the scowl Salazar made when confronted by the dozens of serving plates being offered to them. The maple-haired founder chewed through the treat dutifully, before swallowing. "Helga?"

"Can taste it, eh? Feel better?" Godric asked, maneuvering himself so that he held the smaller man with one arm, allowing his other arm the freedom to choose various sweets to place into a bag. Obviously, the red-head was anticipating having to leave early.

"_Fine._" He said it like he was just agreeing now, and Severus thought that was probably the case. The brunette leaned back into the other founder's embrace, and closed his eyes. "I'm tired, let's just leave."

"As ye wish." The red-head replied without skipping a beat. He finished gathering all of the sweets he planned on taking, and with a small gesture of his fingers, all of the treats packaged themselves individually, and then seemed to fold in on themselves until all that was left was a small white box, which Godric pocketed quickly. That finished, he spared a glance at his other carry-on, who hadn't opened his eyes yet. The larger man sighed, then leaned in so he could whisper into the other's ear, "Oi, ye _do_ know ay would nevar let any'thin happen to ye, don'ya?"

There was a brief pause, then Salazar nodded into the other's neck. Godric beamed, then headed for the exit. He waved back at the chattering House Elves before placing his large hand onto Severus' back as he moved toward the back of the painting. Severus started a bit at the feel of the hand at his back, he was not used to being touched, and the sensation was certainly unusual. He thought he could actually_ feel _the heat of the Gyffindor's hand right through his robes. For some reason, the contact made his face heat up as well.

"Sorry 'bou all tha'!" The red-head chimed happily, a bit _too_ happily considering the situation. Salazar still hadn't opened his eyes, though Severus could somehow tell he wasn't sleeping. He looked down at his Houses' founder, hoping that the lake-bottom green eyes would open again and regain that mischievous gleam they'd had back when the founder had been baiting Phineas Nigellus. Maybe if he stared for more than twenty minutes again?

Unfortunately, Godric was not willing to stand around an let him stare at the brown-haired wizard all day. "I got at get him at bed, ay think. Ay know it seems lyke weev been sleepin' quite a while now, but mos' of our energy was sapped up keepin' tha'stasis spell goin' fer so long. 'Specially our lord 'ere, he's gotta be runnin' near empty by now." After that short speech, the Gryffindor founder turned around and began walking, with large, confident strides, down the dungeon corridor. After a few steps he called back over his shoulder without losing stride, "So, 's yer rooms close by 'ere?"

Severus stared after the retreating figure, for a moment, once again at a loss for how to respond. It seemed like the founder's were quite skilled at leaving him speechless. Today had been more than he'd bargained for nearly tenfold, and he was just glad that the two wizards were finally ready to call it a day. The only problem was… "_My_ rooms?"

Apparently, as their '_guide of future times_', as Godric put it, they expected to be able to say with him until they felt a bit more comfortable. And so, that was how Severus winded up standing awkwardly in his own living quarters with both men who had made this day one of the most mind-boggling and stressful days of his life. Which was really saying something.

"Don' worry, we won' intrude but a bit. If ya hav' yer guest room clear, we'll just take that'un and be outta yer hair. You won' hear another peep outta us." Oh, if only that were true.

Actually, for the most part, the two kept to Godric's word. The guest room was silent for the next few hours, until well after sundown. So quiet in fact, that Severus was having self-doubts that they were even there. He managed to refrain from checking on them, however, reasoning that there was no way he could have dreamed up something as strangely bizarre and this afternoon. Instead, he decided that he would figure out how to deal with his new _mission_ in the morning, and right now what he needed most was to just go to bed.

But he'd barely lain in bed five minutes when noise finally drifted in from the neighboring room. It was quiet at first, the sound of whispered voices. The Potions master was surprised at how thin the walls were, considering they were stone, but the acoustics were great. He was sure that if the two wizards hadn't attempted to be quiet he could have made out every word. The words he _did _hear, however, were more than enough to prove, at least for Severus, that Godric Gryffindor and Salazar Slytherin were lovers (if their little snog in the kitchens wasn't enough). It was a strange thing to wrap his head around, though the image it brought up was not unwelcome. Each man on his own was a sight to behold, but thinking about them _together_... Severus tried to force the images away, pushing them into one of the more remote corners of his extremely well-organized mind - however, the sounds coming from the other room were making it harder and harder to ignore those mind-images.

It started as low mumbling and subtle shifting noises, but as it became louder and more regular, Severus could pick out the sound of Salazar moaning rhythmically in the next room. The lustful cry created a heat in Severus that pooled down below his stomach. He could hear the Slytherin patriarch complain very frantically that _'it isn't going to fit'_, while the deeper, rougher voice of Godric spoke in breathless, reassuring Gaelic. Severus meanwhile was having his own problem, since his cock was reacting quickly to the noises coming from the other room, and the thoughts they brought to mind. It didn't help that Severus had seen both men naked already, and was _well_ aware of how very well endowed Godric Gryffindor was.

A sharp shout of pleasure from Salazar and a victory call from Godric, let Severus know that he did manage to get_ 'it' _in. His own cock was rock hard now, as he listened to the deep moaning and thrusting sounds coming from the neighboring room, and slowly Severus reached into his own pants to grab a hold of his straining member. He knew he could just put up a silencing charm or move to another room, and he also knew that he was intruding on the founders' privacy by listening in like he was, however no amount of rationalization or excuses could keep him from pumping his hand up and down his cock in time with the sounds from the other room.

He closed his eyes, imagining Salazar on his elbows and knees on the guest bed, as naked as he was when Severus first saw him emerge soaking wet from that pool of restoring liquid - pale white skin stretched over a slight frame, legs spread, green-eyes, finally back to their usual sheen, shut tight in pleasure - and Godric, a divine image of lean, golden muscle, pounding deep into the smaller man with his thick cock... Severus let out a small moan of his own as he remembered the feel of Godric's hand on his back, so hot even through the multiple layers of fabric that he'd had on him, and he wondered how those hands would feel on his bare skin...

Apparently, the sound amplification in these rooms went both ways, because immediately the rhythm coming from the guest room was broken (much to the complaint of Godric as far as he could hear) and Salazar very quickly began snapping at his lover about putting up silencing charms. Severus was suddenly wishing with everything he had that Godric would forgo the charm and continue, but when the sound from the room went dead very suddenly, he knew his wish went unanswered. Severus' hand relaxed off of his aching member, and he cursed loudly in self-embarrassment. What the hell was he thinking jerking off to those two?

After a few minutes of cursing himself, which made his cock droop considerably, Severus finally found the strength to lift himself off of his bed and into a cold shower. Leaning his head against the tile wall, shivering under the freezing onslaught of the water, Severus couldn't help but think how much harder his mission had just gotten.

* * *

**A/N:** So, a bit of slash in this one, but not a particularly graphic one, unfortunately. Well, it's not completely PWP. Anyway, there should be better slash in the next chapter. Also, you don't have to, but feedback is certainly welcome!


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